I know, I know who hasn't said things before thinking 1st? I know that I have, in fact I bet I did today several times. I tell myself a lot that people mean well and do think that is true. I think it's a relatively small % of people that seek to harm and hurt others. I remember when when I didn't have kids yet and id be out and see a mother with a wild out of control kid and think "If that was my kid that wouldn't happen!", "I could control them!" Well guess what it does happen to me and I can't always control them!
Tonight we were at T-Ball my 2 four year olds play. We are there for fun nobody thinks the next Babe Ruth is there hiding out on our team. However, you still want your kids to listen to their coach and respect their team members especially when their father is the head coach. There are only 6 kids on the team and we own 2 of them, the 2 that never seem to listen to the coach their father. I should also point out that most of the kids need corrected and reminded to do things the entire game. Tonight the baby was also very cranky and was having one of her loud screaming bouts. So that pretty much sets the stage. I was holding the baby because she was very agitated in her stroller and wasn't any happier in my arms so still screaming. One of my other ones was out in the field just walking around throwing dirt when I hear this to my right. "She can't control any of her kids look at the 3 of them, it will just get worse." I know that God himself subdued me just then that is the only way I can explain it. So instead of harming them in some way I just cried quietly behind my adorable thankfully over sized sunglasses.
What that person doesn't know is that one of my kids has Cerebral Palsy, one is Autistic and has PTSD from an awful home life before becoming my child , that 2 of my kids were neglected so badly that they weren't fed consistently and when they 1st came to live with us they would eat till they puked because they didn't know if they would be fed again They also don't know that all 3 of my beautiful babies were born addicted to major drugs and went through awful withdrawal. This by no means gives them license to misbehave. I don't shy away from disciplining them for some I have to be creative in how I I do it but it is done. My kids are miracles and God has moved in their lives in amazing ways and he will continue to. Everything that was taken from them or has been skewed in some way will be healed and restored I know this is true.
So to the person who said those things tonight, "You are correct, I cannot always control my kids, can you? Yes, look at my kids please aren't they adorable? Aren't they amazing? One day they may be your doctor or your boss or your President. There may be days that they behave worse than this day at a 4 year old T Ball game, but I can tell you this ,my kids know what worse is and they know their lives will never be like that again. They know that we love them even during their worst moments"
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Thursday, March 28, 2013
What Was It Like Growing In Your Tummy Mama?
We have told Hayley she was adopted from the very beginning. 2 year olds don't know what that means so you look for teachable moments in movies, books etc, etc. 3 year olds maybe understand a bit more. Every time we watched Despicable Me I explained how she was adopted too just like the girls. Not quite the same though we weren't adopting to have her steal a shrink ray to steal the moon :) Watch the movie! Looks like 4 years old is the age where she is really starting to get it. Everyday her and I spend some time alone on the couch having our cuddle time. This is a priceless precious time to me almost sacred. "What was it like when I was growing in your tummy Mama?" My heart ached a bit inside because I was reminded that she wasn't ever in my tummy.
I did my whole speech again about how Mommy and Daddy prayed and asked Jesus for a baby and they sent us her. How we 1st met her at Grandma Crystal's (foster mother) house and fell in love with her. Then she looked at me and said "Well, whose tummy was I in then" We have never gotten this far yet. So I told her forgetting that her birth mother shares the same name as her 10 year old cousin whom she is very close with. "I was in _____'s tummy?" She was wide eyed let me tell you! I set her straight and explained that she grew in her tummy but Jesus always knew that I was going to be her Mama. She then told Ryan about it when he came home too. She then explained to Gav and Lena that they did not grow in my tummy either. I know she doesn't understand it all and she isn't meant to yet. But I am glad she is asking questions and wanting to know. It will help one day when I have to tell her the not so nice parts of her adoption story.
I have had 2 miscarriages since we adopted Hayley. She overheard us talking one day right after the 2nd one we had ended up telling her about the baby because I was getting much further along than the 1st one. She said to me then that she didn't remember being in my belly like the baby had been. I didn't respond then I was too upset. She once told Gavin about Mama's 2 other babies that were with Jesus but said "don't worry Gav we will play with them one day!" Kids are so much smarter than we sometimes give them credit for.
If you have adopted or want to or know someone who has don't tip toe around it. Be honest with them. Make it an ongoing discussion. Encourage them to ask questions and use wisdom based on what they can handle at their age. It's not always a good story to tell either Hayley's story is full of things I'd rather she never knew. But it's her story and telling her little by little helps me to process it. Prepare yourself for the messy ugly questions that can come up and find the honest answers for them.And let's face it this is easier to talk about then where exactly babies come from!! Let's hope she doesn't ask that anytime soon!!!
I did my whole speech again about how Mommy and Daddy prayed and asked Jesus for a baby and they sent us her. How we 1st met her at Grandma Crystal's (foster mother) house and fell in love with her. Then she looked at me and said "Well, whose tummy was I in then" We have never gotten this far yet. So I told her forgetting that her birth mother shares the same name as her 10 year old cousin whom she is very close with. "I was in _____'s tummy?" She was wide eyed let me tell you! I set her straight and explained that she grew in her tummy but Jesus always knew that I was going to be her Mama. She then told Ryan about it when he came home too. She then explained to Gav and Lena that they did not grow in my tummy either. I know she doesn't understand it all and she isn't meant to yet. But I am glad she is asking questions and wanting to know. It will help one day when I have to tell her the not so nice parts of her adoption story.
I have had 2 miscarriages since we adopted Hayley. She overheard us talking one day right after the 2nd one we had ended up telling her about the baby because I was getting much further along than the 1st one. She said to me then that she didn't remember being in my belly like the baby had been. I didn't respond then I was too upset. She once told Gavin about Mama's 2 other babies that were with Jesus but said "don't worry Gav we will play with them one day!" Kids are so much smarter than we sometimes give them credit for.
If you have adopted or want to or know someone who has don't tip toe around it. Be honest with them. Make it an ongoing discussion. Encourage them to ask questions and use wisdom based on what they can handle at their age. It's not always a good story to tell either Hayley's story is full of things I'd rather she never knew. But it's her story and telling her little by little helps me to process it. Prepare yourself for the messy ugly questions that can come up and find the honest answers for them.And let's face it this is easier to talk about then where exactly babies come from!! Let's hope she doesn't ask that anytime soon!!!
Thursday, February 28, 2013
My Little Miracle Girl
I will never forget the 1st moment I met Hayley. I look into her big brown eyes and that was it I was in love with her. I assume that is how everyone feels when they 1st hold their baby. The difference was that my baby was 2 years old and I was meeting her at the foster home she had been in since birth.
There is verse in the Bible, Isaiah 8:18 that says "I and the children the Lord has given me are for signs and wonders." That has proven to be true for all of my children. Hayley was born at 24 weeks and weighed almost 1 lb. She had to have a PDA Ligation performed on her heart the day after she was born and at 3 days old was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. The doctors did not expect her to live. She was in the hospital for over 3 months when she went to live with her foster parents a fantastic couple in their late 70's who have fostered well over 120 children! Doctors and therapists predicted that Hayley would never be able to walk or run and that she could probably never associate with other children in a normal way. They also questioned if she would ever speak. When we met Hayley she wore AFO Leg braces and did not walk well. She barely spoke a word her vocabulary was almost that of an infant.
Don't let anyone tell you there is no such thing as a miracle because they are very wrong! My Hayley is a miracle. Tomorrow Hayley will turn 4 years old. Hayley not only walks and runs circles around us and anyone you give her the chance to she dances. She had her 1st dance recital at 3 years old and her 2nd will be this June and no more braces. She went from seeing specialists at least once a month to rarely ever going to the doctors office. Instead of having to attend a special needs school she scored high and above her age range. She talks non-stop and on Saturday she will have a Birthday party where 17 of her good friends will attend she has ZERO problems socializing with other kids! Lest you think we are patting ourselves on the back for what we did to help Hayley we are totally in awe of what God has done in her life. We prayed over her and spoke the word over her all the time. We got her any help she needed and worked some AMAZING people who worked with her to help her as well. But God did this. God had big plans for Hayley that could not be stopped!
I don't have enough words to describe how much I love her.
Happy Birthday to my Little Miracle Girl!!
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Snot, Insomnia etc!
When will snot season end? The other day Ryan (husband) was literally wiping 3 noses at one time none of his own! If it were the newest hot product id be a millionaire!! When the newest kiddos came we all had a battle with the dreaded stomach flu bug. Since then nobody has really been sick but snot is in full supply!! Yesterday Ryan got home from work and hugged me and said "What is that on your shirt?" I looked down to see 3 levels of dried snot on me! One short row which was clearly Lena's and one just above that on the side that must have been Hayley's because Gavin is tallest and his was above Hayley's! I thought all the hugs throughout the were just to show how much they love me. I have become a walking tissue.
So I snuck out the other night with a friend of mine to see Les Miserables! If you haven't seen it you must do yourself a favor and go now! Stop what you are doing and go! So we both have at least 3 kids so getting out to the movies does not happen often at all anymore. Well we get there for the 9pm showing to be told by the kid taking the tickets that it doesn't start till 10:25! Well I tell him how wrong he is "You have a showing at 9pm in reg digital and XD at 10:25!" He smirks and says "Ma'am, (ugh) that is Robinson you were looking at the wrong location" I tuned him out at Ma'am, I hate being called that! So he then says "Do you know how late that will get out Ma'am,very late!" I guess he thought we had to get back to the nursing home before midnight. So we did what we thought was the only logical choice for 2 mothers that are exhausted and wanted to get out! We went to Target and then back to the theater to watch every glorious moment of Les Miserables! Over 3 hours later you'd think id be exhausted, but I was on a great movie high!! Viva La France I was ready to bust out into song and fight battles alongside Hugh Jackman (who wouldn't) I finally get into bed after 2:00am to be woken up at 3:00 am by my not so great at sleep youngest. Three hours later I fell asleep. Let's just say the next day was not my best. Hayley and Gav both asked me if I needed a nap the next day. So the best part came that day when we all piled onto the couch for a group nap. Nothing better than a nap with all of your kids!! Nothing!!!
So I snuck out the other night with a friend of mine to see Les Miserables! If you haven't seen it you must do yourself a favor and go now! Stop what you are doing and go! So we both have at least 3 kids so getting out to the movies does not happen often at all anymore. Well we get there for the 9pm showing to be told by the kid taking the tickets that it doesn't start till 10:25! Well I tell him how wrong he is "You have a showing at 9pm in reg digital and XD at 10:25!" He smirks and says "Ma'am, (ugh) that is Robinson you were looking at the wrong location" I tuned him out at Ma'am, I hate being called that! So he then says "Do you know how late that will get out Ma'am,very late!" I guess he thought we had to get back to the nursing home before midnight. So we did what we thought was the only logical choice for 2 mothers that are exhausted and wanted to get out! We went to Target and then back to the theater to watch every glorious moment of Les Miserables! Over 3 hours later you'd think id be exhausted, but I was on a great movie high!! Viva La France I was ready to bust out into song and fight battles alongside Hugh Jackman (who wouldn't) I finally get into bed after 2:00am to be woken up at 3:00 am by my not so great at sleep youngest. Three hours later I fell asleep. Let's just say the next day was not my best. Hayley and Gav both asked me if I needed a nap the next day. So the best part came that day when we all piled onto the couch for a group nap. Nothing better than a nap with all of your kids!! Nothing!!!
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