What Was It Like Growing In Your Tummy Mama?

We have told Hayley she was adopted from the very beginning. 2 year olds don't know what that means so you look for teachable moments in movies, books etc, etc. 3 year olds maybe understand a bit more. Every time we watched Despicable Me I explained how she was adopted too just like the girls. Not quite the same though we weren't adopting to have her steal a shrink ray to steal the moon :) Watch the movie! Looks like 4 years old is the age where she is really starting to get it. Everyday her and I spend some time alone on the couch having our cuddle time. This is a priceless precious time to me almost sacred. "What was it like when I was growing in your tummy Mama?" My heart ached a bit inside because I was reminded that she wasn't ever in my tummy.


I did my whole speech again about how Mommy and Daddy prayed and asked Jesus for a baby and they sent us her. How we 1st met her at Grandma Crystal's (foster mother) house and fell in love with her. Then she looked at me and said "Well, whose tummy was I in then" We have never gotten this far yet. So I told her forgetting that her birth mother shares the same name as her 10 year old cousin whom she is very close with. "I was in _____'s tummy?" She was wide eyed let me tell you! I set her straight and explained that she grew in her tummy but Jesus always knew that I was going to be her Mama. She then told Ryan about it when he came home too. She then explained to Gav and Lena that they did not grow in my tummy either. I know she doesn't understand it all and she isn't meant to yet. But I am glad she is asking questions and wanting to know. It will help one day when I have to tell her the not so nice parts of her adoption story.


I have had 2 miscarriages since we adopted Hayley. She overheard us talking one day right after the 2nd one we had ended up telling her about the baby because I was getting much further along than the 1st one. She said to me then that she didn't remember being in my belly like the baby had been. I didn't respond then I was too upset. She once told  Gavin about Mama's 2 other babies that were with Jesus but said "don't worry Gav we will play with them one day!" Kids are so much smarter than we sometimes give them credit for.

If you have adopted or want to or know someone who has don't tip toe around it. Be honest with them. Make it an ongoing discussion. Encourage them to ask questions and use wisdom based on what they can handle at their age. It's not always a good story to tell either Hayley's story is full of things I'd rather she never knew. But it's her story and telling her little by little helps me to process it. Prepare yourself for the messy ugly questions that can come up and find the honest answers for them.And let's face it this is easier to talk about then where exactly babies come from!! Let's hope she doesn't ask that anytime soon!!!